everyday success


Getting a “Fix” on Change

A recent FaceBook poster asked how she could fix her life.  To begin, I don’t know how to fix another person’s life – all my articles are about the tools and techniques I’ve used in my life.  Why do I do that?  Because one new idea just might spark a great idea for another person’s life.  In response, then, I’ll think about some of the things that have helped me in my life.

We are each a work in process.  We are learning about ourselves and our lives every single day. 

To begin, then, imagine yourself as an artist creating a beautiful work of art and that work of art is you.   Every single day you make choices and take actions.  Each choice we make, each action we take is much like an artist’s brush strokes; those choices and actions become an indelible part of our history.  Each day, we take responsibility; each day, we add to our self.

You are you with all the qualities that make you special.  Yes, you can make modifications by trying on different styles or altering your interests somewhat but your underlying beauty remains.  Each day, count the good things, your successes, the moments you smiled, the times you experienced sharing or the gift of yourself.

Life is not a smooth road.  We all make mistakes.  Often, we look at others’ lives and think, how come it’s so easy for them.  The truth is, it isn’t easy for any of us – we’re not in other people’s heads so we don’t know if the road they walk feels like silken sand or a bed of nails. 

What to do, then, if it feels as if a change is in order.  First, remember that life is a journey.  Each day can be a moment of change but change won’t happen in a moment.  Yes, we live in a world that demands instantaneous everything; reality, though, is that change is a step-at-a-time process.  Enjoy the path of change.  Embrace your successes, be kind about your missteps.

Identify the “fix” you seek.  Ask yourself about it.  Define what it is you seek and then make a list of all the steps you’ll take to get you to your goal.  What is the problem and what would be the fix?  Work on one thing at a time.  Everything takes time.  Back to our demand for the immediate: success is built on many small steps that you’ll take over time.

Enlist a confidant for your journey.  Make sure you chose someone who is a champion of you.

Be proud of the changes and choices and actions you take.  Enjoy your successes, appreciate that there will be difficulties along your path.  Always remember that you are the artist, the one responsible for your life. 

Now, when we are younger, we are not as certain of ourselves; we’re still learning about our self.  We’re not even certain that the choices we make or the actions we take are the right choices or actions.  We worry so, wondering just what we should do.  That is why it is helpful to keep your vision of yourself, that beautiful piece of art, in your mind.  To that vision, add your list of steps and actions that bring your vision to life.

This link takes you to The Journey of Life section of my website where you’ll find much more about change and habits and happiness.  Here’s hope we’ve sparked an idea for your life.  For now, my care and well-wishes are with each of you, my readers.

I Just Made a Mistake!

I just made a mistake and I can feel it.  The more my brain grasps that I made a mistake, the higher my blood pressure goes.  I can feel my cheeks burning, they’re turning red and my heart is racing. 

Such strong sensations: our entire body reacts to the fact of a mistake; it goes against our grain.  Suddenly our very core is challenged. 

When you think you are doing the right thing and discover that it’s exactly the wrong thing, our whole body reacts.  It becomes physical.  It even feels a bit defensive – probably because our mind is trying to figure out how this new fact that used to be wrong is now right.

Breathe.  Sit down and breathe a moment.  Close your eyes and try to slow your brain; ease it from its mad whirl.  Wrong, I’m wrong.  But, how could I be wrong?  I’m not wrong, I don’t make mistakes.  Well, as it turns out, yes, I do make mistakes and now I’m trying to manage that fact.

The only solution is to calm down.  Once that happens, I can take a look at what happened so I can help my mind understand.  It is a learning moment even if it feels just terrible. 

We all make mistakes.  That’s right, while we don’t like to think so, while are so very certain we are never mistaken, it actually does happen. 

What to do when you are suddenly confronted with the fact of a mistake?  First, give yourself time to process your physical and emotional reaction; your surprise may strengthen your response.  Before you share with others, work at regaining your composure. 

Take deep, calming breaths with closed eyes.  To fix mistakes means you need your full brain power and focus.  That means you need to be fully in control.  Process the physical and emotional side of the mistake.  Then, own up to the mistake and fix it if that is possible.  Finally, figure out how to avoid a repeat of the mistake.